I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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