Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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