Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
