Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
