That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
