OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
