I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
