can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize