So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
