it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
