We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
