my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize