i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
