A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
