You work out of a Hotel?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
