it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
