Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
