i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
