Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
