I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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