So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she woke up with a sticky ear
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
