I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
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