its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
