so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Use "feeling words"
Yay
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
