I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
