Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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