Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Please, let me fuck your mom
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
