I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
