whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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