didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
