Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
