non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
