pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
then he tried to convert me to islam
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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