I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize