my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
