Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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