Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
