Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
