Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
