So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
