Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
