What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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