yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
