Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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