we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
