you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
