Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
