I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
