I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize