I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize