Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I need moral support for this bender
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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