Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize