I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize