come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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