Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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