i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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