i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize