Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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