awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so much tequila, so little girl.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
