i don't like sucking hair
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
