I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
