The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
