So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My pussy is not your playground.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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